BEEcoming a Worker Bee

You see our Lord is such a gentleman that He doesn't force Himself on anyone. He patiently waits for you to come back to Him. He never moved. So that is where I am at, at His feet drawning from His gracious love and mercy.

I still have my days where everything is not so peachy as we like to call it. I have been sick with a migraine for the past 3 days and had to get a shot for it. Days like this I struggle, I just want to feel better and have God take the pain away. Sometimes He does and sometimes He has us to wait awhile.

One thing that I learned to do because I had felt like I had accomplished so many things in the past, but wasn't moving forward now was make a list of goals. The Bible says, " where there is no vision the people will perish." So I needed a vision for my life. Write 5 personal goals, 5 family goals, and 5 spiritual goals. This will help you work on things you want to accomplish in your life. It sets your mind on positive things that you are not idle.

When I get idle, is when my depression creeps up. I began to dwell on things of the past. Why I don't know those things are forgiven. Was Jesus blood not good enough for me for for those things that I did, that I can't be forgiven of them? That is what I am basically saying is that His sacrifice was not enough for my sins and I can't be forgiven. I know that not to be true so why dwell on the past. The Bible says, "look to the things that are before me." That is where my list comes into place. Read them daily to remind yourself of those goals that you have set for yourself.

Depression is an awful illness because it not only affects you but the people around you. It is usually the ones closest to us. I finally received help when I realized my boys where being affected by it. My husband was a grown man and he understood some of what I was going through, but my boys just knew Mommy was sick. I didn't want them growing up thinking Mommy was sick so I got help. I still have those days of blues and that is ok, but I relish in the fact that it is not going to conquer me. I will have a better day tomorrow. I also don't beat myself up for it either. I just have my day where I sleep a little more or do a little less, but I always try to do a little something so I can feel good about that accomplishment.

I called this title beecoming a worker bee because having bipolar and anxiety disorder, is work. It is daily working on my mental state, attitude and walk with the Lord. Not that everyday is perfect, but we can get to a point where the highs are not so high and lows are not so low and the changes are farther apart. Just today slow down enough that you can see the fingerprints of the Lord in your life.