The Bee's Mask

How is it that you can be surrounded by wonderful people and still feel alone? I often feel that way. My own insecurities get in the way. They are always whispering in my ear to keep me from being the true me. That I know is Satan's tactics to keep me down, but why do I listen to him and allow him to determine my mood or my mindset. I have listened to him so long that I believe Him that God's promises are foreign to me. I know what they say but do I believe them in my heart. It's that part of "renewing of your mind" part that I have trouble with. I often put a mask on that everything is ok, not always but sometimes. Mostly in public where I am constantly looking over my shoulder wondering who is saying what. I deal with that mostly because of my weight. Why can't I just take the mask off or why can't I be secure in who I am? I know I can in Christ, but knowing and doing is a much harder task. My prayer is that I can just be me. That I can be in a crowd and stand tall and proud of who I am and who God has made me. That I can stop wearing masks and let people know what is truly going on inside so they can pray for me. I pray that others, as well as myself, will listen to the one true voice and not those negative voices of Satan keeping us defeated.