Seeing clearly!

Recently I started to have migraines again.  So bad that I had to go to the Emergency Room with one, and that hasn't happened for about a year.  I have been blessed, but couldn't understand why all of sudden I was having them again.  I realized that my eyes have been hurting some so I knew I was way overdue for an eye examination.  So I went.

The doctor said in a joking manner, "You are driving without glasses."  That then was the realization that I needed to be wearing glasses all the time to see things clearly and to no longer get those headaches from my bad eyes.

I think we are often the same in our Christian life.  We get so used to seeing things our way that when God speaks to use we don't even recognize His voice.  We squint through life, like I was, that we often forget the big picture of what we were created for.  We get so bogged down with our own issues, problems, and opinions that God's can't be seen. 

We need to have a spiritual eye exam and see if we are seeing clearly.  We need to look at things through God's eyes not our own.  Our own is often ruled by the flesh and we need to be ruled by the Spirit.  Sometimes we just need to stop and recognize who God is and who we are truly in Him.  Our vision is not clear unless we look through God's eyes not our own and not just see His will but also do it.

Control and this Bee!

I read a quote this week that just pierced my heart.  Control the controllable and let God control the uncontrollable.  That is such a profound statement.  There are many things in my life that I can controll; however, there are circumstances and things that are just not in my territory they are God's.  I need to let Him control them.  Now being a little OCD about things that is very hard, but that is the only way to find true peace and harmony in my life.

I need to say "Whatever!" Lord, more often.  Not in the demeaning way, but giving up my life to Him.  Whatever in the since that I am His, and He is ultimately and completely in control.  So on those down days when I can't seem to get it all together I can roll with the punches as the moods swings and realize that I can't control everything.  God does!

Flying High as High as a Bee can Go!

I teach the Youth at our Church and tomorrow we are studying about Enoch..  There is not a whole lot in the Bible about him, but the things we do know are pretty awesome.  He was a man that walked so close to God that he never died.  He was raptured on up to Heaven.  Now that's pretty neat.  Not having to face the torment or frailty of death itself.  He was just taken straight to Heaven to be with Jesus face to face.

I would love to not have to face death, but unfortunately it is a part of life.  What a testimony to have to be known of being a man or woman that walked that close to God!  I know I often times just fail at reading my Bible or praying like I should.  Much less walking in a day to day relationship with Him, and not failing or wavering.  Now Enoch was not perfect like Jesus Christ, but he took His relationship with God serious.  That is were I take it for granted!

Depression can often cloud your view of where God is and if He is even there.  I can assure you that He is there waiting right where you left Him.  Waiting for you to call out to Him, because He wants to carry you through the deepest and darkest of times. 

With the Bipolar some days are up and some days are down, but most days are pretty even.  I guess that is the reality of my life, but it should keep me on guard and on my toes.  Especially with my relationship with the Lord, I pray that I am so close to Him in the good times that I can feel His presence carrying me through the bad.  I want to be known when I die as a person that walked with God.  What a legacy!

Not Much Flying for this Bee

Today has just been an ok day.  I have those every now and then.  Nothing spectacular is going on or no real circumstances for me to feel this way.  I am just down.  So what to do?

I have tried to keep myself busy.  If my body is not idle neither is my mind.  I have planned ahead youth activities for the church.  Menus for the week are done.  So there is only so much you can do before you drive yourself OCD crazy.

I have just faced the facts that it is ok just to have an ok day.  Nothing wrong with that.  I dont feel like doing or being much today.  There is this book I am reading  and the title is I'm Not Wonder Woman, But God Made Me Wonderful.  So today I am certainly not Wonder Woman but even though I cant or dont feel it right now, I know deep inside that God did certainly make me wonderful.  Bipolar and all!

Real Emotions for this Bee

  If everyone did only what they wanted to do nothing would get done.  Some people make decisions and sometimes very important ones based on how they "feel" at the time.  The Bible says that "a double minded man is unstable in all his ways."  So how can we depend on our own feelings.  This is something that I struggle with greatly, because I am a very emotional person.  My feelings change often and I have to keep them in check with what the Lord wants not what I want.

In the battle of life we must CHOOSE.  Choose to take medication because we know it is better for us than the alternative.  Choose to go to counseling because we know it will help out ourselves and our family.  Choose to exercise because we know it will help the depression and all over mindset, but I did not say the choice would be easy or likeable.  I don't often times like these things, but I know they are best for me.  We have to Choose to do what's right even when everyone else is doing wrong or telling us otherwise. 

Emotions have no intellect.  They connect themselves to whatever thought is taking place.  Like a speck of dust floating in the air and then finally landing on something.  One piece wont get to you, but you let it pile up and before long you have a mess.  Deal with your emotions in a positive manner.  Cry them out if you need too.  It's ok to have a good old fashion coming to Jesus meeting in your prayer closet.  That's what often happens is that we dont deal with the emotions as they come.

Choose to reject negativity.  Dont let Satan steal your joy.  I have before and may be there again some day but the other side is far better. 

What If or What Will for this Bee?

I got back in touch with an old friend today and it brought back many memories.  All very good ones, I might add, but it got me to thinking about what if's?  I live sometimes on the what if's?  What if I didn't have to live on pills because of the Bipolar?  What would life be like?  Been there done that not going back.  What if I could work a full time job again and not struggle with money?  God has me at this place in my life for a reason.  So I could go on and on with the what if's.  Many are very Big decisions in my life and some are very small, but I can't live on the what if's.  I have to accept each and every day as gift from God and live it to the best of my ability for Him.  Who knows what He has in store for me in the future, but in His word it tells us to be content.  So I accept my place in life at this time and strive to do His will each and every day that He gives me.  So not what if -what will?  What will I do with this time for Him?

More than Drama for this Bee

I have noticed lately that I have been drawn into every day drama of other people's lives and it has really bothered me.  I have been burdened by the pessimistic nature of so many people and often myself.  Walking around often always talking about the negative things and not doing what we are created to do which is praise Jesus.  So I have a new motto that I am starting to say, let's just Praise Jesus when I hear people often complaining about mundane and needless things.  It often changes the mood and attitude.  I don't want to find myself in this predicament anymore so I am praying for wisdom and strength to be an encourgaer and not a discourager.  There is more to life than drama!